House of cards!

'Aastha, have you seen movie "the angrez"?'
'Naaaah, is it a good watch?'
'You got to watch it then. I'll play a scene from the movie. It's super fun. Or how about we all watch it together?' Suresh beamed.
'Narayan are you comfortable with Hindi?' I asked.
'Not that much, can make out few words in between. My server only catches Tamil, English, Kannada, Telugu, Malayalam.' :)
We smiled.
'Okay then let's watch some English movie. What say?'  I asked.
Or, how about a regional language movie with subtitles, we all joked.
We browsed through a long list of movies commenting on single one of them.
No not this one, its a rubbish movie...
No horror please ( I voted)....
Have seen this one already...
.......
So after a long picking and dropping game we finally played Hunger games- Mockingjay.

With full attention, we watched. Even if someone said something in between, we shushed him,
As the movie played with each passing quarter we slowly dragged out our phones to call India. You can't help it, time difference is always at the back of your mind. Like a dual clock we live in two time zones, calculating hour by hour difference between States and India. :) Though today it is much simpler to connect across the world and distance doesn't actually hit you until busy mornings there with multiple honking at the background is accompanied by long silence of night here.

'Ami bhala achi.'
'Veppanilai -20.'
'Halo, miru emi cestunnaru.'
Everyone on phone spoke in different native languages. At that moment instantly I realised how culturally rich we are! We always know it, but how often we take note or witness the same? Generally, here at the company guest house we all communicate in English with few half bitten or awkwardly sounding Hindi words in between. :) As we just relocated to States have been putting up at the company's guest house. Finally, after undergoing a big house hunting exercise, next week we would shift to our house. It would be our first step towards settling down. Right now it feels like my hostel days are back! :)

Amidst all my wonderland experience, I heard my husband catching up with his old friend.
'Haan bholle, kiddan?'
I turned around amused. Well, it was not the first time he spoke in Punjabi, but every time it's a new feeling for me. Yes, intercaste marriages are fun that way. :) We converse in Hindi and English. Whenever he speaks in Punjabi, its like I don't know him (pun intended). :D I often tease him saying-

Imagine a full house with Hindi, Punjabi, Marathi, Telugu, Tamil and Bengali. :) Six languages at one place! People in West can draw parallel with six different nationalities Chinese, Arab, Spanish, Russian, French and American sharing a fun evening together. But here we are my dear fellows, recreating a mini India at the guest house miles away from home. And, that's how we all are. And, that's how we like it! :)

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COMIC STRIP...FACE-OFF

In my new comic strip, my two favourite characters come together for a face-off. Let's see what happens! :)

© AJP 

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Comic strip- Astro #Fail. Blog marathon post- 26

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Comic strip- Marriage-o-logy. Blog marathon post-25

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The 'Joey' in us!! Blog marathon post-20

Joey has been my favourite character in Friends. I am sure, many adore him as well. The way his character was developed in each season was phenomenal. He stood out the most. Charmed us with his wits, funny moments and comic timing.

There is a Joey in all of us. If not all the qualities together, but assorted ones do exist. :) Which ones do you relate to the most?

How often have we had a temptation to hog like there is no tomorrow?

The thought of eating food to live- is illusion, we live to eat! :)
Source

A hunk, girls get glued to-
So he knows all the moves. How to win a girl for a date is a cake walk.
The famous way to approach - 'How you doing.' :)

Source

Nod head intelligently as a camouflage 

And, then finally buy an encyclopaedia to prove some worth.

First one to know about your friends affair
Everyone experiences this privilege once in a lifetime. Be it a friend of yours or someone in family. Being a secret keeper is an awesome feel. However, its hard to avoid constipation after that.

Be a tube light
We all have our moments of confusion and crowned as a tube light.

A friend, always by your side
Support a friend when they really need you, even if he had to propose to Phoebe. Isn't it sweet? Friends comfort each other with their warmth and presence.

Tease a hell out of your friend

Big pranksters plus level the score with something tingling.
'You stole my girlfriend! Now I am going to mess with your clothes.'
How often we have done it with our friends?

Fake laughter

Dress unusually and be happy

Innovation is the mother of all inventions
Even if it's a disaster

First time threading experience
:)

Glued to lazy boy
Have you experienced movie marathon (three-four movies back to back without a break)?
Or
Watching sit-coms, entire season at a go?
I can bet, at least once, you all must have tried it.
My maximum record goes for 18 hours non stop. Eyes were swollen and food was ordered.

Nap partners
Been a hostler? Then you know the feel. ;)

These are all the Joey moments I could recall. I strongly believe, there is a Joey in all of us. We love him because we are like him in many ways. :)

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Zehreele (poisonous) lyrics. :) Blog marathon post-11

Music is always a big high but not all music. I can’t help mentioning that few songs are really tough to make any sense. Just when you thought that your ears are ready for some treat as the music started, BAM!! you've got @#$@*%@% lyrics to accompany. We listen to many out of the box ones, double meaning (if one can infer) and sometimes, just filled in with words randomly put together to rhyme, or maybe sung in a different accent to make them rhyme. Anything and everything is possible in this lyrics business. Total mind boggling stuff!

To name a few that always cling to my mind are-

Ishq Wala Love - Student of the Year

I love the music and even hum along. Then starts masterpiece lyrics "Ishq Wala Love". And you've got Santa and Banta confused. I whacked my brain real hard to understand the hidden meaning if any. The more I thought about it, the more my brain rolled out in laughter. Forget enjoying the song, all I could think of is -

Balti wali bucket

Barish wali rain

Sapne wala dream

The next hidden treasure was that me and my hubby started talking in the same slang when he said - "Give me Khana wala Food."

Saans Me Teri Saans Mili Toh Mujhe Saans Aayi - Jab Tak Hai Jaan

What? Really are they talking about mouth to mouth breathing? Though colloquially it may mean the kiss of life. But who wants to know that?  :) Srk is a bomb diffuser as well as a doc who saves people suffering from asthma. How wonderful is that! That’s why we love our actors- they are simply heroic. 

Tune Mujhe Pehchana Nahi - Raju Chacha

The lyrics goes like this-

….Aashiq hu main tere naam ka

Deewana hu main deewana nahi

So is he trying to say that he is crazy about her, but not that crazy?

Or

Practically he is in love, but not blind in love. :)  (how so blunt, ouch!)

He sounds confused. It's probably a good way to say, I wish to keep my options open. Ha!

Main Ladki Po Po Po- Hera Pheri

Yet another song let for the audience to guess and decide what’s with it?

Main ladki po po po

Tu ladka po po po

Hum dono mile po po po

Ab aage kya hoga

This one is as straight as ‘jalebi’. Imagine an office conversation including po po po at the end of every line.

Good morning Sir, po po po..

I missed my deadline, po po po..

You're fired, po po po..

Try that in your daily conversation with your partner or room mates. *Statutory Warning!! If you die laughing, I am not responsible for it!!*

Dil Jigar Nazar Kya Hai - Dil Ka Kya Kasoor

Another bombarding song!

Complete lyrics are-

Dil jigar nazar kya hai

Main tere liye jaan bhi de du

He is ready to donate all his organs, but forgets that he will be dead. Still offers to give away his life even being dead. What a sweet gesture. Wait!! Its all messed up. Don’t be just a donor, learn from Vicky donor! Haha.

Please feel free to share your thoughts. The more the merrier! :)

  

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I am no Rajinikanth. Blog marathon post-5

‘Take a deep breath and relax. Slowly you will go inside the machine. Nothing to worry, just ease down.’

‘BUT, as soon as I tell you to STOP, then please stop immediately or else I’ll suffocate.’ I panicked.

I could feel my heart pump loud.

I cursed the ones who designed the MRI machine, of course I had too. Who asked them to make such a small tunnel? They could have considered such hyper suffocating people who can’t breathe inside it.

The machine started going inside and so was me!

‘Okay you can do it.’ I said to myself.

‘You will be there for 30-40 minutes. Don’t move at all, else it would take more time. This is the buzzer, you can press if uncomfortable.’

WHAT THE HELL. I had to be inside for 1800 seconds! That’s like forever.

‘…..No..no…no….no…I can't do it. Stop the machine, stop it now.’ I yelled banging the machine with an unknown force and tried to jump out of it. Machine was still slowly tossing in. ‘OMG ..OMG…Stop it, you had promised you will. I am the patient listen to me.’ I didn’t know what crap I was saying, but that needed to stop.

Finally after all the blackmailing I did, the machine came to a halt. I was so relieved yet shaky with the afterthought. I took time to be normal, by normal I mean to not to be ice-cold and do a shake dance as in 80s or 90s people used to do.

After the whole scene I created in there, I was directed to see my doc.

As soon as I entered, I started complaining, ‘I couldn’t go inside that stupid machine. There is no way anyone can go inside it, or forget anyone, for sure I cannot. I banged it so hard with my fists, then your people stopped it.’

‘So did you break the MRI machine?’ he said with a big smile.

‘I am no Rajinikhant.’ I giggled.

We all laughed.

So who is Rajinikanth? Everyone can suffice the brand ‘Rajni’. He is the living legend, a commoner projected as a superhero in his action stunts. Humble in real life and stylish in reel life. Our current Bollywood movies are very much inspired by the action stunts invented by the legend. He works against forces of nature, combats the laid fundamentals and challenges the existence of gravity as well in some of his action scenes. Here is just a demo of his supernatural powers-

Also, a movie can cross 100 crore business just by dedicating a song to him. :) That’s the power in the name! Even in New Year’s this song was played in a continuous loop. No points for guessing it.

P.S. – I wish there was a Rajinikanth in me, where I extend the breath of the MRI machine just by pulling it up with my hands. How cinematographic life would be then. :P

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The origin of pout- Comic strip

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Comic strip- Beach, bar and babe!

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Football fever- Another take!

Funny conversation between me and my friend and a chance to create my first comic strip! :)

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Being married to a Techie!

Being married to a techie guy, is a roller coaster ride. When I mention techie, it does not apply completely to all techies but to the real tech-savvy ones like the one I am married to. It’s full of thrills and skills. Difficult to understand, until you are a part of it. If you do not belong to the world of techies, then these few instances will help you get a hang on it, others just know it. 

Minimal use of paper and pen-‘Save paper’ the motto is best advertised by techies. :) From to- do lists to any diurnal stuff, you name a thing and it will all be in their laptop and phone, all synced up together. Make a change in any device and all the other devices will have updated information of what needs to be done next in the day. Playing hide-and-seek, looking around for a pen and paper is such a waste of energy, right? Be high tech!

Data can never be lost-You will never find a techie losing his data. It means a world to him. Just not the data he is dealing with on an everyday basis, but also all the documents, pictures, videos, etc…etc. There is a backup for everything. Plan A is always followed by plan B.

Engineering in every little thing-Once a techie always a techie. Their mind works in a unique way. For instance, just couple of weeks back, we (me and my husband) stopped to have coconut water. The seller handed over the coconut along with straw to me. I have this uncanny habit of cleaning for my own satisfaction any culinary I am using, this time it was a straw. With dust layers inside it was a turnoff. I asked for more straws. To my surprise all were the same. Very intelligently I blew inside straw, pretty confident that dust will blow off. But it didn’t. I tried couple of more times, blowing air out more heavily. No success. Arghhhh. Then, I noticed what my husband did. He sucked little water from coconut and threw it away. Did it twice and there you go, perfectly cleaned straws. I saw him in amusement. Gosh why such a simple thing didn't strike me?

Problem solving-This one is hilarious. Suddenly early before the sun breaks, he gets up in a jolt shaking up the bed. I am scandalised thinking, ‘Oh my God, it’s an earthquake!’ But it’s a false alarm. I see him jumping out of the bed and leaping for his laptop. I ask, ‘What happened? All well?’ Reply comes, ‘Yeah, maybe I have solved the problem I was stuck at.’ I blink in a fail attempt registering it. WHATTTTTTTT. I cannot solve my problems eyes open and alert, but here he solved it in his dreams!!! I rub my eyes in an attempt to stop hallucinating. But no luck.

To mention, the problem solving expertise is just not limited to work, it covers everything. If you are disturbed about something and you discuss with him. He has a tailor made, custom fit, just-for-you ready solution. For him if there is a problem, then there has to be a solution. You want him to just listen and he wants you to act upon it. 

App for grocery-Yes, you have an app for grocery shopping. :) Funny, but true! They have all the reasons in the world why to have one. First, no need to jot down weekly or fortnightly ‘the list of items’ to shop. Mostly they are already stored in the app, you just need to tick them up. Hustle bustle free. Second, if we go together to shop both our android phones are synced through which we are updated as to what one has bought if we are in different counters. The tick marked items are crossed showing the items purchased.

Family thinks he can repair anything-Well that’s most common. An engineer in family has to be jack of all trades. Anything that goes out of order, he is called to rescue. Specially laptops and phones. Can you fix my laptop? Though a software engineer, he is expected to fix hardware issues as well. :P He acts like Mr. Quick fix by hovering on your system through log me in or team viewer, doesn't matter which country you are in.

Old phones new software-Who wants a new phone when old one works like a newbie? Old phone will always be upgraded to new ROM and OS. New features, displays and functionality are a big high for them. It’s just like a joy of victory! Childlike happiness. Spending hours on exploring the entire new software, digging in all the apps can never be a waste of time. And, redoing entire activity all over again if he doesn't like the particular ROM, can never be painful.

Do not disturb mode-They are often lost in thoughts. Frequently a do-not-disturb-mode is on. As a wife you got to understand and live with it. :) It’s a zone they love to be in!

Filter listening-Not necessary he replies to you when you ask something. For sure he will when you say ‘this is not working’. It’ll be a task at hand for him. A mission to achieve! The listening power is concentrated to only few key words. One has to talk diligently focusing on the key words and tags, so that it doesn't filter when he hears. :P

Auto correct-Who says auto correct is only installed in your phones? It’s in build mechanism in the techie guys. Watch out when you say something missing out few facts, or maybe something incorrectly; instantly you will be corrected. Urgh it’s too disturbing sometimes. And, when you make him understand to stop being an auto correct, you will have good laughs seeing him curbing the switch on mode.

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You make my world go round and round

‘Oh my love, you look so desirable. I am smitten by your presence. You take me away from this cruel world, into your world full of comfort.’ I said with all my heart.

You know how much I love you and have missed you, right? My inner voice continued silently in pain.

‘Yes.’ Came the reply to startle me.

‘Can you hear me?’ I spoke in excitement.

‘Yes my love! I miss you too. You now don’t look at me, appreciate me, touch me and make me feel special. Have you found someone else? You look so disconnected from me.’ Making a puppy face.

‘Do you really feel my love for you is lost and I cared no more?’ I said in a scandalised tone.

‘I am confused. You say you love me, but then I feel something is missing. Not very sure where this relationship is going.’

Those words hit me really hard. It was a reality check. Was this the time for confrontation that I have been avoiding?

‘Every relationship has its own ups and downs. Essence is to stay together and be strong. Unless we face the brunt of the situations how will we shine like diamonds?' I said mustering some courage.

‘Hmm’

‘My love for you is pure. I do not have to prove it, you know it as well. I promise this is just a phase. Soon I’ll be all yours. I need some time my love. Until then I expect a little patience from you. Just be by my side. Trust me everything will fall in place.’ I continued with conviction in my voice.

‘When you look at me, I see pain in your eyes.’ Replied breaking down almost in tears.

Silence. More silence.

‘It’s because I love you so much that it hurts. I want to be with you all the time like we always were. But, you know how difficult it is for me. I feel helpless.’ my misery grew as I said.

Silence.

‘See I miss you so much that in my phone, I have our photo as wallpaper. Don’t you believe me? See.'

(#Date-22^nd Sept 2012)

‘Aww.’ said the world of pumps!

The moment when one is ecstatic and happy tears roll down.

‘Last one and a half years I have been bereft of your love. Desertedness has crawled inside. But believe me when I say- I am trying hard. Your love is my motivation to recover. This ligament tear in knee is a big hindrance between us. It has been the reason for drifting us apart. I hope soon it will be fine. Our love will win and find its true meaning. The day is close when we’ll complement each other like never before. ’ My eyes smiled.

‘Yes..yes. These clouds will vanish. Sorry for being a little impatient. I'll wait for you. We both belong to each other. You and me in this beautiful world.’ Hummed in happiness my world of pumps.

‘You make my world go round and round.’ I said crossing my heart.

We laughed.

P.S. -One day someday (soon) I’ll be back on my heels. J Until then you can click here to learn more about my shoe fetish. J

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And the fight began...

”Don’t you think the home is a little messed up, things are scattered all over here and there.” said my husband- a typical cleanliness freak.

“It…It feels like home this way.” I smiled.

“Home?” He echoed incredulously.

“But…” I stared at him blankly. How can he not understand, it’s such a homely feel. I see my presence everywhere! The two coffee mugs on the table indicated we had a chirpy coffee conversation. My top laid on the bed, flaunting itself to be the chosen one for today to be worn by me. ;) The multi-colored junk jewellery elegantly displayed on the dresser since yesterday, oh okay maybe since Sunday – but isn't it adding more color to the room. So in short every corner of the home speaks of my presence. J

He glared at me mutinously, his brows knitted.

Okay, I know this look! Not a very good sign.

“See there in a difference in perspectives here. Your eyes scan it in a different way. You should always find beauty in all the little things around not just see it the other way.” I said in an insightful manner, beaming all the gyan.

He automatically flashed a smile. “In disorganized things…. Are you nuts? How in the world you get such ideas?”

There was a moment of silence. And, then we giggled.

In no time, his expression changed-a more serious look spinning the pen around his thumb.

“It’s a feel good factor if things around are a little tidy. Feels like life is in place, all is good.” He continued calming himself.

I sank down onto a chair, feeling a bit unreal. What… I stared at him uncomprehendingly for a moment. Both of us have a feel good notion in just an opposite way. I curbed my giggles.

“Are you even listening to me, are we on the same page?”

“You are talking as if only my stuff is misplaced. Look around even yours the same.” I said in a melodramatic way, a little nervous at his intensity.

“Oh, really! Let’s check out!

Shit… I was stiff with awkwardness, from where do I get such fancy ideas? I was trapped with no escape. Silly me.

Then he pinpointed all of it. And, the fight began….

After 15-20 minutes of critique we took a break. With a long face I started keeping my stuff to the places they belonged when something funny happened. I discovered a long lost tee (one of my favorites) that I had assumed was misplaced in one of the trips and that too like ages ago, inside my wardrobe. My happiness knew no bounds, I grabbed it. Swiftly with shine in my eyes I showed it to Tarunn.

"Oh my God! Seriously, you found it!" He said totally galvanized.

With a little twist, full of mischievous expressions I said, “That’s what my whole point was. The cool stuff that I have should not be confined to the places less seen, where I cannot admire, cannot feel and appreciate it. It should be here and there sometimes, you know how it is-out of sight is out of mind!

He knuckled his forehead. We exchanged looks and rolled with laughter.

Concluding the blog with a wonderful thought...

That's my mantra! :) What's yours? 

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An ounce of guilt...

Rubbing the palms together, sometimes drumming fingers on the table. The wait gets longer. Hands of the clock not matching up their pace. Time is stuck. Desperate and impatient, I become. Glint in my eyes, I halt with a melting emotion. Unlocking my phone, clicking on various social media apps- I try to distract. Restlessness in my mind, I set off the phone aside and start doodling on a tissue paper. Abstracts that come out of a mind hooked with a daunting thought is a sight to look at. I smile.

Footsteps approach, it comes closer. I watch every step it takes towards me. My senses are active and alive. It’s time for a face-off. Finally, arrives the Devilish character, drizzling with darkness. Luscious and intriguing with a crispy top and molten interior. Doesn't care for a presentation panache yet be so dominating? Saccharine dusted exterior with decadence making me feel weak at knees. I hold up to my armor, but within I know my resistance is sweeping gradually. The power is so invincible. I take the final leap. In the encounter or a confrontation I’m just speechless! It’s ruling the state of gustation. The taste glands are hypnotized, under a spell- a dark one. J

It’s my favorite Choco lava cake. A true ambrosia. Orgasmic, sensational and comforting. Pure lip smacking indulgence. Each bite I take gives a deep sense of satisfaction. My toes tap on the background music that I had turned a deaf ear to. Senses resume back to the activities around me, laughter and talks. My mind palace had buzzed off I suppose, made me so indifferent to the noises around. The tantalizing smells of dark chocolate setting up the mood keeps me captivated. Each morsel of the cake charges cells in my body, making me attentive. Tucked in a corner I keep hogging my sheer piece of joy. J A true chocoholic, deserves the treat her way. Duh, an ounce of guilt full of calories. But who cares, it’s the moment where pleasure surpasses the guilt. ;) 

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Shoe fetish!

Shoes, a small word with a whole world in it! From stilettos to flats, pumps to ballet pumps, ankle boots to high heeled boots, strappy heels to flats, low heeled loafers to converse, and not to forget sportswear. I get a glint in my eyes just by the thought of it. No points for guessing that I have a shoe fetish.

The more I have, the more I crave. It’s one of my fantasies to have a room built in classy fashion just for my shoes. With a beautiful chandelier and back-lit display, they can just come alive. My little assets (my shoes) delicately displayed on the shelves, some on wooden surface and some on a glass base. A big mirror is definitely a plus. I see myself admiring each and every inch of the room in my dreams.  Will I ever be able to do it? Sigh!  

Shoes drive me crazy. My brain scans shoes of a person first while meeting. The funny part is I may not remember you by your features your face or by name, but surely I’ll remember you by your shoes.  That’s my little secret and the extent of craziness. Funny? That’s me. :)

A Few days ago I went to hospital for follow-up, waited quite long in the lobby for the doctor to arrive. The staff told us (me and my husband) that she’s on her way and would reach soon. I was hooked on to my novel and my husband was glued to his phone. Time passed for him and paused (as I was reading) for me. With my head down I saw ‘the brown flats’ rushing down the aisle. Until the time I could look at the person, she went speeding out of my sight.

‘Did you see that was the doctor?’ I asked my husband.

‘Nope.’ he said.

‘That was surely the doctor, I remember her shoes.’ I said confidently.

He gave me blank looks.

‘You bet! Notice her sandals when we go to the visiting room, it’s brown flats with a bow. Also, the last time she was wearing same.’

He gave a big snort of laughter and went completely breathless at my analogy.

Finally we were called in for the appointment.

‘See I told you!’ I said excitedly.

‘That is just a mere co-incidence.’ He said with a smile.

 As soon as we entered the room, our eyes were on her shoes. We exchanged looks and tried to curb the giggles. I was so darn right!

It’s difficult even for me to understand this mysterious phenomenon. I am too carefree to notice a thing that imprints in my mind. Many times it has happened with me that I notice something new (according to me) and compliment people for the same. It could be a wall piece, hair style or any object. I then get back a quizzical look since it has been there for ages, but I never noticed. I guess with shoes it’s a different tale altogether.

I see footwear and I go mad. Every time we go to a mall, my husband tries to avoid places where I can see a shop with beautifully displayed shoes. He thinks that he is smart and I do not notice what he is trying to do. Within no time, he finds me vanished and he knows where to find me. We have a separate shoe rack at home for me and him, but to his despair I have encroached his space as well. That my friend is a true and wicked shoe lover!!

In colloquial sense I am high on shoes (not specifically heels :) ).




Photo credits:
© Photographer: Mcherevan | Agency: Dreamstime.com
© Photographer: Daria Timofeeva | Agency: Dreamstime.com

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