Wednesday, April 1, 2015

A cloak of chauvinism

By Unknown   Posted at  7:06:00 AM   No comments

Well, some time back I stumbled on a Radio conversation that made me laugh and provoked a thought at the same time. A program on air where they receive letters from people seeking opinion from anchors. One incident during the show amused me. Cannot quote word to word but would like to share the crux.

It was from a woman who didn't want to disclose her real name for obvious reasons. She was married and described her husband as a responsible family man. A quality that is generally considered good. But she wanted more. She was having an extra marital affair with two other guys! It gathered my attention like a reflex action if someone pinched you. All three guys were in dark of anyone else's presence. To her advantage her husband travels a lot for work, she could eavesdrop easily with perfection. She loved all three! All of them had distinctive qualities that amazed her. One was good in bed, other one was a real charmer with talks and wits and her husband was the most responsible one cared for her like a baby. She liked the situation she was in but also felt guilty sometimes. She asked the RJ if it is wrong not to disclose. Her counter for her own webbed why-to-feel-guilty was based on the argument of how men have ill-treated women since ages, abused, used and disrespected them. Now given a chance why should she feel guilty for anything. In short the call was to get a confirmation from people in words and gestures for the marvellous job she has done! Bravo!

My first reaction was a laughter riot! A creepy sick mindset was oozing out of the radio. Mindset where one believes-
Hiding one's mistakes on the name of women rights is justified as it is a time for women empowerment?
The typical case where one assumes that they are ambassadors of a cause, in all wrong ways!
A feeling of revenge-is-justified can be sensed. Where in it is my time to give-it-back!

My simple question to women with such lame attitude is-
'What makes you different from a rapist who thinks it is his right to do so, as for ages men have ruled the planet, and he as a mascot will dominate women to show them their actual place.'
Courtesy to such women like you, talks of women empowerment and women liberalization seem so offsetting, off tune!

If it is your choice to be a chauvinist, to have sex with multiple men then don't outcry it as 'giving-it-back'. No matter how forward or new era women you are, it will definitely pinch you too to discover a situation where you are one of the three women in your husband's life! So hiding behind a cloak accusing the other gender is not what we want or should want! Drifting away, being an escapist doesn't help!

My readers can also click here to read my earlier blog on similar lines. I emphasise that if you claim to an independent women, then be so with a head high. Do not have double standards thinking everything you do is right!



So my fellow ladies be clear on what you want. If you like pleasure through sex, then be proud to say so without any hidden agenda or getting into a failed marriage which might hurt someone. If you claim to be independent, then the true meaning also means to be fair to your husbands and brothers. Let love find its way rather than gender do's and dont's. If you are a protected girl who needs support of husband, father and brother then be clear as well. Please don't apply few logics according to your convenience and call it women empowerment. A custom-fit-approach is just a blinder sometimes to ignore few aspects you willingly want to miss.

You are everything you want to be, just make the right choices! Please stop being a hypocrite and make a joke of other fellow ladies who genuinely strive hard in what they truly believe. Thumb Rule - If your convenience is someone else pain, it is't worth it nor it is liberalization and that is gender agnostic.


Sunday, March 8, 2015

Which tag do you carry?

By Unknown   Posted at  9:24:00 PM   Musings No comments
Childhood is a very nascent stage where development of child is utmost. How secure the child feels, equality between siblings and what he/she feels about themselves is important. Parents love their children. That is said without any doubt. But there is surely a tag a child carries in the eyes of their parents. Like 'the intelligent one', 'the creative one', 'the sporty one', 'the naughty one', 'the quite one' so on and so forth. It is a general categorization parents form for their children.



Think and analyse- 
How many times has it happened that you buy pretty pretty things for your girl child and your baby boy is just looking your face. Mothers get carried away especially seeing cute stuff for their daughters, every mom wants their daughters to look beautiful. If he retaliates for some toy, he is not given as he is asking for it. Logic says, if you fulfil demands of child then there are chances he will be spoiled. Baby girl is so innocent, she doesn't demand. Any child physiologist or a third person can analyse this situation very well rather than parents sometimes. It is a simple thing, she doesn't have to retaliate as she gets everything without even asking, but on the other hand the boy has to fight hard for it. Gradually parents think he is 'the aggressive one' and unfortunately this tag is for lifetime. As kids grow, the girl child becomes the 'mature one' who can never be wrong. This is the time when difference between siblings grow as the guy knows that there is no point explaining anything to parents. It will go unanswered and ignored. A child though small in age understands and knows everything. He has his own mind which parents forgo to understand.

The involvement of parents. This is equally important. For instant, if a teenager has to write some exam just because he is a boy will his parents not drive him to the test centre? Just a daughter has to be taken more care?
In India, it is so common parents visiting their daughters often when they start working or are pursuing some professional courses. Same parents do not visit their son as he can manage everything on his own (he is a big boy!). Same parents are so desperate to go and visit the son as soon as he is married! Why such double standards? It is very important to understand which parent is playing what role, either they divide duties or take it together. Such insane logics thinking a girl needs more support in their development age or for a fact through a lifetime than a guy is rubbish. Why such unaccounted ethics? Here, the girl child becomes 'the protected one'. I being a girl can proudly say, I am independent and strong. Like a son, I do not want undue unconditional support just because of my gender!

Do you recall putting restrictions for girl child?
'You are supposed to be home until 7pm!'
On the other hand, the boy child since he is a guy is allowed more relaxation? Why?

'You are a guy, you have to take care of parents and your sister, doesn't matter younger or elder.'
I find this to be so conservative and stupid! In which age are we living? Everyone is independent these days. Why force things on a guy? Siblings should help and support each other irrespective of gender and age. As a matter of fact parents responsibility is not only for the guy, it is a shared responsibility irrespective of gender. Keep it simple folks. Parents complicate things so much! They unknowingly distort thinking of child saying such figurative things repeatedly. Why being a guy carries more responsibility and girl is an epitome of grabbing support?

We have to give more financial support to our daughter than our son (he is independent). Parents please understand if you are willing to give financial support it should be equal for both. How does just being a daughter makes one more legitimate to get more gold, cash, better wedding and long lasting financial support from parents and even their brothers? Funny part is in some families being a guy makes one accountable to manage all his wedding expenses. In such families if guy is unable to do so, parents curse and taunt their son as if he has committed a heinous crime! But daughter/sister wedding will be a collaboration of arrangements made by parents and brothers happily. Are girls so weak? I am also a girl and cannot imagine any parent thinking on same lines, but the crux is many do. It is an engraved mindset which needs to change.

It is shocking to know that suicide rates for men are much higher than women! Sometimes midst of women liberalisation world man becomes the forgotten gender. The major reason inferred is the financial burden created by the norms of the society still trapped in the old conservative circuit. Also, another reason is the misuse of laws that support women especially dowry cases used as a tool to dampen reputation of a guy. Third reason is farmers in India due to unpredictable climate.
Suicides per 100,000 people per year[5][6]
RankCountryMalesFemalesTotalYear
1 Lithuania52.57.928.62009
2 Republic of Korea35.618.526.32009
3 Belarus43.07.724.02009
4 Kazakhstan40.48.423.52009
5 Russia41.36.922.82009
6 Japan28.310.119.12009
7 Hungary32.17.619.02009
8 Latvia33.55.718.62009
9 Ukraine32.25.217.62009
10 Finland25.48.917.12009
Source- Wikipedia

In India generally across all the states, the suicide ratio is 2:1 between male and female. 
Source- Wikipedia

Are you a girl/woman with the tag 'the protected one'? Please don't be, step forward! We are far more than what our orthodox parents/society believe. We are responsible to share parents responsibility equally with our brothers. Just being a girl doesn't make us weak physically or emotionally. I have also seen closely how a young financially independent women think in context to their brothers. He is my brother, he has to do stuff for me! How lame! If you claim to be strong and independent, then be so. Let love be the reason to be with each other, supporting each other through thick and thin. Let's not genderize everything. 

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Change is the only constant thing

By Unknown   Posted at  4:15:00 AM   Musings No comments

We know it, but how often do we acknowledge? Nature around us is a constant reminder of the same. Just like seasons in year change, so do rest of the things in time. The change in the seasons makes us witness, embrace and appreciate the beauty of it all the more. We value summers only after the freezing cold and winters after rotten summers.

Talking about change, I still remember how heart broken I was when Ambassador announced to discontinue in India. My whole childhood and teens have clear fond memories of chauffeur driven white shiny ambassador with blue curtains, government of India board in red and also a siren. It was so special. Honestly, that feel cannot be matched by anything! Not even by any fancy car on planet.
It filled me with so many questions. What brought to the end of iconic car? The only answer was it didn't change with time. It could not keep pace with the competition around, gradually demand dropped and it head towards a black hole. Lack of any makeover in time was a big drawback.
Some things become antique, some extinct and some change the look and feel altogether.
I recall an episode of Top gear(a British television series of motor vehicles) where taxis all around the world competed in a race. 



My dear Amby, legendary Hindustan Motors Ambassador won the race!!!! Drum-rolls. :)

If I look into relationships, change is important there as well. Parents maintain strictness in childhood days to inculcate disciple in kids, but as kids grow parents become their friends. That relationship is best and welcoming. When kids are younger parents used to guide them, later kids guide and advice parents. Parents take a back seat and enjoy the ride with grown-ups, listening to what they think and feel. We talk so much about generation gap. But why does it even exist? If we are ready to accept the change, be flexible then there is no point of redundancy. Though some typical parents love to remain strict and do not want to lose their age old believes. It is simple to say, 'I cannot change in this age.' I have seen few families who still live in this set up, even when their children are parents themselves, still they cannot express what they actually feel. A miscommunication, gap between conservatism and modern outlook always maintains a drift. Though a different level of togetherness is shared between them when they are friends.

All in all, change is good. Fear of change is always there, but that fear is replaced by freshness of ideas or thoughts once it happens. Adapt and change or be ready to extinct.




To quote from Bhagwat Gita- 'Parivartan hi sansaar ka niyam hai'. That means- change is the Law of Universe!


Monday, February 23, 2015

Utterly butterly delicious ads!

By Unknown   Posted at  11:31:00 PM   No comments

Not only Amul is advertised as 'the taste of India'. Also, known and loved for its niche marketing strategy. Well versed humour in advertising with the brand mascot of cute Amul girl cartoon with recall of events in given space and time. Brilliantly articulated, sending a clear message on the societal changes every now and then with perfect timing has been highly commendable. It is not easy to synchronise the advertisement in accordance to the uptight events but also depict the brand value of Amul at the same time. No wonder, the brand hold some of the best advertisements in India.

Few that I can recall that have been my personal favourite-



I love this ad. Dialogue from the famous joker in Batman 'Why so serious' was twisted as 'Amul is seriously good'. :) Joker making a statement (on a serious note) aloud holding a sandwich. This ad still remains one of my top favourites.
Amul has knack of grasping attention via engaging in the much talked about characters, headline stories that are eye catchers. They yet again did an amazing work of advertisement with this one!









This ad was released when Steve Jobs left Apple as CEO. Amul made a powerful statement by showing that Apple lost its core.





Haha,I find this one extremely funny. Based on Bollywood movie Ghajini wherein the story moves around a person dealing with short term memory loss. He has to make all kinds of tattoos on his body to remind himself to take revenge for his girlfriend's murder.
Here Ghajini loves Amul so much that he has tattooed the same so that he doesn't forget to fix Amul sandwich for himself. :) How so cool is that!





The latest controversy with AIB roast was captured by Amul replacing 'yeh dosti hum nahin todenge' with 'yeh roasti hum nahin todenge'. I laughed how AIB (All India Bakchod- meaning senseless talk), a humour group in India  became 'All India Butter'. It is witty and an awesome way of promoting the brand as nation's preferred butter.




This one was printed when government incorporated new Value added Tax in 2005. 'Vat lag gayi' is correlated to 'vaat lag gayi' which means to be in big trouble. It was a good satire on the increasing prices of products that will lead to less purchasing power of the consumers. In short a time of trouble for the consumers. But also not to forget that Amul is always a value addition.
How quickly Amul has its own way of narrating all the stories around! Kudos to the advertising team!




The epic meeting of Obama and Modi in India was coined as bromance! Its a famous saying, 'badi badi baatein' meaning big big talks. So two buddies have a conversation about all the biggies.
I loved how the bros in picture are holding Amul toasted bread. :)
Simply whatever you do, all the big talks you have- there is nothing that you can do to ignore the Brand! It is bread and butter bromance, complimentary products that go side by side.




If it was a Cola, it had a Khan. All the three Bollywood Khans were drooled into this Cola war with ads, one being better than the other.
There was a time when Canned Cola definitely became Khanned Cola. Audiences were so glued to the innovative and larger than life ads of the cola drinks. Amul nailed it with pun intended, sensing the pulse of market and audiences by large.
Amul project itself as 'popular khana' and cleverly demonstrates that it doesn't need any brand ambassadors. :)





Yet another amazing ad by Amul. While vouching for the deliciousness of the butter, it also mocks at the Divide and rule policy adopted by the Britishers when ruling India. This was done to curb the then gaining patriotism across the Nation.
Amul amusingly made the statement, cut butter(divide) and drool into the divine taste. As you know, its over utterly butterly.






This is real funny. Famous Kung fu Panda and the Amul girl jumping to claim their combating techniques. Loved the caption, 'Amul pandas to your taste'. Also, how briantlly Amul girl said 'yellow belt', focussing on butter that is yellow in color. :)



Cute- simple ad conveying the message of helmets being compulsory in Mumbai. Two wheelers in desi slang are often referred to as phut-phatiya. :) Keeping that in mind, it was beautifully articulated with the lines utterly phut-phutterly Amul. Pure innocence with a serious message- use your head!



We  have a freedom of speech, in writing as well as speech. This ad was released in favour of expression across social media. People should be allowed freely to share their views on the social media.




This ad was correlated to the fact that Taj reopened its Tower Wing just three weeks after terrorist attack in December 2008. Bold message captured everyone's emotion, 'Yeh taj nahin jukega' meaning 'the taj will always stand tall'.

These were only a handful of ads that I could recollect from the plethora of them. Amul is amazing and witty with all the ads they make. A big thanks to the team behind these lovely ads to keep us entertained. I always look forward to them! It is like, what does Amul has to say for the same. :)






Friday, February 13, 2015

Can love be arranged?

By Unknown   Posted at  11:14:00 AM   Musings No comments

'Which part have you moved from?' The sales person asked.
'India, just a couple of months back.' I replied.
'Oh is it, I thought you both moved from some other part of US as you speak very well.' He said with a big smile.
'Thank you!'
'I have an Indian friend who has gone home for choosing a girl for himself. His mum has selected five girls for him, and he has to choose whom he will get married to. How funny can that be? Though he is a lucky guy. I wish I had five to choose from.' He giggled. 'Is it actually true that parents decide a partner for their children back there and it is like a final verdict?' He asked us.
'Love marriages are quite common, so are arranged ones. Of course you got to meet the girl/guy, spend time and if there is a click then go ahead with marriage preparations. It's totally on the discretion of the two people who are involved in. It's not that bad as it sounds like (chuckled). I see an engagement ring, how did you meet your girl? Tarunn said in a light mood.
'I met her at a party and from then there was no looking back. Yeah, I agree there is always a click. I still remember that day. Seeing you guys I believe arranged love can be good, you make a great couple.' He smiled.

Something about the conversation made me think how West foresees arranged marriage set up.

How is it perceived!
Western media also depicts arranged marriage in a very orthodox way. It looks like a tableau from hinterland, ages backward in thinking and maturity. As far as large chunk of Urban India is concerned I don't think there is some kind of pressure from parents to marry a certain person. I agree, to get married is definitely one, where the society is after your life to marry asap, which is not true in West. :) But whom to, that is entirely your say. I know so many people, irrespective of their gender, have had the free will to take their own time to decide life partner for themselves, Openness in regard to multiple meetings as well as meeting multiple people until they found a good match is something I have seen closely.

Can one blindly marry someone his/her parents have chosen?
Only scenario that I can think of where children blindly say yes to parent's choice is when maybe, they have had a heartbroken past relationship where they think they made a mistake and want to trust parents in their judgement. As every theory has few exceptions, I do believe many conservative families coexist and impose coercion on children to marry a certain person. They are being told since childhood to enjoy life and do whatever, but not to take the plunge to marry someone of their choice. It becomes kind of a status thing for such parents to say out loud publicly with pride, 'My son respects my decision, it is final word for him!' However, such cases cannot define the entire concept of arrange marriage.

How about intercaste marriages?
Upbringing of a child and family values play a major role in the mindset. I proudly say to everyone that my family is open to arranged intercaste marriages. Isn't it cool! Intercaste marriages have never been popular in India. It was treated as something alien. Though there is a certain sense of acceptance developing in this context as well. A perfect match is not only one who is from your own community, it can be someone born and brought up in a different cultural background as well. Earlier, there were high chances for boy and girl from same caste to be more compatible. In recent times, as we have strong individual identities this has become an obsolete rational. Rather than just cultural stereotype, it is essential to have a partner who understands this and sees you as unique individual with certain likes and dislikes.

On a funny note
There is a very famous joke about marriages- Matching horoscope of guy and girl is good enough, but what about the girl and her mother-in-law? :) In India, marriage is just not about a girl and a guy tying a knot, but everyone should like each other unlike in West. Well, frankly this is a dream scenario and everyone strives to meet the expected expectations. Nonetheless, the fact also remains, you cannot force someone to like anyone. This feature of everything fitting perfectly in a frame is part of both arrange as well as love marriage.

A lot more goes into a marriage
It takes a lot more than just dreamy romantic love shown on screen to pull a marriage. I actually believe no matter how long you know someone, but getting married and living 24/7 together is different dynamics altogether. It requires more than romantic love. Married couples can sink with this thought, how often have you believed that as a couple you have become stronger after marriage? Initially, spark of charm kindle between any couple, followed by chemistry they share. In arranged marriage parents direct the screenplay as they make arrangements for the meeting and in love friends do the trick.

The crux
Honestly, I have a lot of faith in this arranged arrangement. As a teen, I used to think how incredibly awful it is to marry an out an out stranger! I was wrong. Generally couples get good time to know each other, others might get less. But more than that the initial click do exist in both. There are no two views. Surely there is some level of liking that sets the base and there after it is a gradual process to know each other in courtship phase. Sometimes the first meeting is a turner, both hit off well and have the gut feeling that this is the ONE. In some cases after engagement if a couple doesn't think it will work, they can call it off. Precisely, nothing is forced upon anyone!

Either it is arranged love or love that is arranged (in Indian context) everything works good until love is not lost. Love that is just not hormonal, but what a couple develops after marriage. That is long lasting and deep. Though it may not be expressive sometimes, but it is strong enough to make its presence. :) Kudos to all the elders in my family for making me believe in institution of marriage. It's inspiring how truly they are in love with each other even in 70's or 60's. :)

Love or arranged is all a choice. There are choices all the way in life. I know few people who think they could have got a better match for themselves. Honestly, there is no could or would in life! Believe he/she is the one and hold that thought anew. Make most out of your relationship, work on marriage with meaningful love.








Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Love is mushy!

By Unknown   Posted at  9:02:00 AM   Musings 2 comments


'Why can't you open the blinds ever?' I frowned opening all the blinds one by one. Since our marriage it has become a customary morning ritual for me, back in India it used to be curtains. :)

'This is something I love seeing you do!' Tarunn said with cutest expressions.

'Ha-ha that was a good line, but it's not doing its wonders.' I teased as I opened blinds of balcony. My eyes sparkled and quickly I said, 'Tarunn come fast, comeeeeeeeeee and see. It is so nice!'

He joined me in no time. On the blanket of snow someone had expressed love by writing love you Loke. Big alphabets totally aligned written in a stencil like manner. I could actually see the efforts gone into it. :) I didn't know who wrote it or for whom this special love message was, but it put a wide smile on my face. I was so excited as if I was a part of it. Crazy me! I clicked a picture from my phone.


That's what love does to you, it makes you do something special, something even you never knew you can do for someone. Even the most practical people become mushy mushy in love. :)

Spending time talking and listening to endless, minutest, stupidest of things. Things that will not change the economy or as a matter of fact improve knowledge quotient, :) But will surely make you come close and feel connected. It is not mandatory to give a rose on a rose day. Well don't get me wrong, surprises are always welcome. What I want to say is that guys sometimes compensate their absence with a flower or a bouquet. As a girl I can tell, we feel best when we see your presence around us. The biggest gift is giving time, words of appreciation and not to forget valuing each other's work! And, after these essentials any surprises give over the top kind of feeling. As if we are on cloud nine. :)

Every couple has a couple's thing. Do it regularly. It can be dance or yoga or cooking a meal together or anything that a couple loves to do together. This strictly doesn't include grocery shopping. :D Even if you have kids, take time off. If not frequently, but make sure you have some exclusive together together time.

Love is not an overnight thing or a seasonal change. It nourishes with time. A beautiful relation is when you and your partner, irrespective of age, still talk anything and everything and never get bored. You have so much to share that a lifetime seems less.

Cherish it and embrace as it has happened for good! :)






Sunday, February 8, 2015

Land of humongous choices!

By Unknown   Posted at  1:44:00 PM   Musings No comments

From endless choices to array of brands, being in States has been a ride. Is vitamin A milk better than vitamin D, or as a matter of fact the combination of both? Plethora of options actually throw you away sometimes. Picking a simple thing like cornflakes can consume a long time. As all my friends say, you can go as healthy in States as you want. But it comes with a long list of choices to be made, evaluating one over thousands, just like a carrier choice. I am not exaggerating, surely too many options are always confusing.



Amongst all the choosing stuff, on a weekend we went to a grill place for dinner. Ambience was good and peppy. A cheerful waitress handed us the menu. With all smiles, I started reading the whole menu. You know the feeling, when you are hungry and reading a menu awakens gustatory delights. :) When you just want to order asap, without any precious time wasted! With glittering eyes, full of excitement I read 'Create a bowl'. As I looked up from the menu, she came back and handed us medium size bowls. In a jet speed she recited, 'You can fill in whatever you like from the choices over there and hand it over to be cooked.' What man! Can someone please give me a break. :) I was so done picking up grocery, making different varied choices last couple of weeks. For once I had an opportunity to laze, order some random chicken dish and have an element of surprise to engulf me. But, even that was taken away. I am not complaining, but surprises do charm me.

So there were choices of meat and seafood to pick up from. Almost 30 different kind of sauce plus endless salad and greens to choose. Also, pastas and noodles. In short, we had to fit in a world of flavours that we like in that small bowl! I had a great laugh seeing people squeezing their favourites almost double the size of bowl and I was no exception. Everyone carried a mini mountain in their hands. :) There was a huge round grill in centre where they tossed and grilled ingredients from our bowl and poured mixture of sauce we selected. I noticed, with almost 11 people there, none of us had tiny resemble in our picks. Once my bowl was grilled, it was placed nicely on a platter and handed over the counter to me.

Generally, how easily we pass a judgement.
Not great preparation.
It could have been better.
Argh, pathetic place ever! 
As I picked my fork to taste, a sudden realisation made me smile. I was going to be rating myself! :P Phew! How was that for a situation where practically I had not cooked or even had an extravagant spree of chopping vegetables. Still I was the creator of my own meal. I questioned myself-
What if it's not that great! Or
Forget great, it's not even edible.

But then it had to be tasted. I had to pass my own test. :) I grabbed my fork and gulped a morsel of my colourful sautéed meal. Multiple flavours rushed inside my mouth, hitting the taste buds, reclaiming their presence more than the other one. I don't want to praise myself, but luckily it was an awesome combination of juicy flavours! I had the most delightful meal. For a moment, I felt like a master-chef ! :)



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